Sometimes some of these idiotically smiling New Agers can be a real self-righteous holier-than-thou pain. Their eyes half closed due to incense coma, (See my post on New Buddhist Jargon on my blog Enlightenment Ward) they wander into a place and proceed to pound out erratic and apparently random rhythms on their homemade drums and lecture about chakras all night while everyone stands there with the feeling of a deer in the headlights hoping they won’t make their way over to one’s comfortable sitting place.
But no they gotta preach it to everyone. And most profess to being “closer to being a Buddhist” than any other religion. Give me a break. This dancing-on-lotuses airy ridiculousness is just too much to take.
There ought to be a new set of categories in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of th American Psych. Assoc.)
It would be called New Age Dysfunction and Related Disorders. Since some of these folks are highly resistant to the suggestion that maybe their views could do with some questioning rehab could be made available.
Rehab is conducted at the Common-Sense facilities. These are staffed by volunteer local grandmothers who will dispense their wisdom for a 2 week period. For more intensive therapy mothers-in-law are on standby.
Related disorders:
New Age Identity Disorder:Buddhist-Lite, Touch of Sufi, Wicca Wonderland, What’s it going to be? Every week a new religious or philosophical profession without knowing too much about what any of them are really about.
Crystal Fetishism The shinier the better is the view here and tons of cut rock are displayed throughout their home. Some travel as far as India to have jewelry specially made according to their Vedic horoscopes.
Incense-Induced Psychotic Disorder, With Hallucinations of floating lotuses and auras around the Simpsons characters on television. Consequently they shield their eyes from any sort of display screens.
Drummer’s Twitch- Disorganized Type-the above-mentioned type of drumming is the principal manifestation
Selective Mutism regarding common-sense. This can also be conversely become violent argument when the subject is confronted with disbelief with regard to their cherished notions about Angel Children and the utility of dowsing rods.
Chi or Pranayama Substance Withdrawal. When the energy isn’t flowing the results can be extreme.
Note:This one is definitely getting written up in my Enlightenment Ward blog after the incident I witnessed today involving a bag-piping busker and a merry band of idiots. Just wanted to get the gist of it down here.
